Neighborhood Notes: Living as neighbors

By PAUL WIEMAN

At the root of neighborhoods, at the root of the word itself, are neighbors.  Those people who live next to you, or near you, close enough for you to have to share a property line, learn each other’s rhythms, check in on each other when the need arises, share holiday baked goods, wave across the street or through the hedges, watch each other’s children grow.

We have lived at the same address in Katonah for 35 years, and over the course of this time, we have been blessed with mostly great neighbors and great neighborly experiences. When we first moved in, we befriended the elderly couple next door, who had participated in the baby boom by raising seven children and were now empty nesters hosting grandchildren and hugging them close as the fireman’s day parade marched by. They helped us daily in understanding the rhythms of life in Katonah. 

It is worth noting that in one of life’s great twists, we are now the elderly couple, empty nesters next door to the young family that currently lives there.

On the other side was a family that was incredibly patient with us as we raised children and played in our yard. Errant frisbees and baseballs and mini-footballs and badminton birdies would find their way into their yard, and there was absolutely no issue with our retrieving them. Nothing but a smiling face greeted us each time.

Ownership changes, and when we were away on vacation one year, a 6-foot solid plastic fence was built between our yard and the new owner’s yard.  My children, just learning about some of the great engineering projects of the world, instantly called it the Great Wall of Katonah. To be honest, there was no animosity, no great shift … but I have noticed that ever since that fence appeared, we have not known the people who live next door on the other side of the fence. Owners come and go, and we have little contact. We see mail delivered and lights turn on and off; we hear a dog barking; a lawn service appears. I do know one of the persons who lives there now; she works at the health care office I frequent, and that is where I see her. It’s interesting what a plastic wall does.

Neighbors help with pet care … Our cats benefit from two longtime friends, one of whom will stop in whenever we are away to feed them and tend to their care.  In exchange, we offer the same service for their dog or any house care needed while they are away. More than once, a text has been sent from us or from our friends asking for a quick check in as plans had changed or some emergency has kept us or them from coming home on schedule. Just another glue that bonds together a neighborhood.

We keep an eye out on the two homes across the street, inhabited by two single women who have raised families of their own. Recently, one locked herself out of her house, and she knew us well enough to stop by our porch and ask for use of our cellphone to call her daughter to come rescue her. Each holiday, she finds new yard decorations, and we send pictures to our own children of how she has added to the neighborhood. We exchange cookies during the winter season.

At the other house, when it snows, even though I know someone is hired to clear it away, I still feel a need to go over and clear the front steps and walkway just in case she needs to get out, and I would feel bad if she slipped and fell. It’s not much, but it’s what neighbors can do, and it makes it more of a neighborhood. At least, I hope it does.

There are two stories I like to tell about our neighborhood, one about someone moving in, and one about someone not moving out.

Behind our house sits one of the larger properties in the area, a full acre at the top of a small hill. The previous owner split the beautiful home into apartments, rented it out, and let the building fall into disrepair. In selling it, he hoped to subdivide it into four ¼-acre lots and milk it for all it was worth.  Fortunately, a family who really could have lived anywhere, decided that they wanted to raise their children in a close-knit neighborhood, bought the ramshackle place, kept the acre lot intact, and renovated the home and landscaped the property beautifully. What was an eyesore became a signature property, all because one family saw the desirability of living in this neighborhood. We all benefit.

Another family started looking for a home with more acreage and more amenities, but ultimately decided to remain here for the same reasons … our neighborhood is a great place where kids can play outdoors, walk to school, find friends in the front yards, meet up at the pool, catch fireflies at dusk.  Instead of going upscale, they built a small addition and bought a modest second home on eastern Long Island, recognizing that neighborhood wins over acreage and square footage.

Yes, the world is full of nightmare neighbor stories, of fights over fences and hedges and tree limbs, of raised voices and court hearings, but that has not been our experience. As neighbors, our forced proximity means we know something of each other, and, in the best of circumstances, we all get along, supporting each other in small but meaningful ways, adding as we can to the definition and lifeblood of a friendly neighborhood.

Paul Wieman is a retired educator. His “Neighborhood Notes” column will offer occasional observations about the Katonah neighborhood he has lived in for 35 years.