Do you Mahj? Not your grandma’s tile game

Coco Rault, left, Emily Kapelman and Olivia Reighley play mahjong at La Maison Fête in Bedford Corners. Tiles. Olivia Reighley of Bedford, left, Coco Rault of Greewich, Conn., and Emily Kapelman of Bedford Hills at play. Robert Cummings photos

By MELISSA WHITWORTH

Over the soothing sound of the click-clack of tiles and the gentle ebb and flow of conversation, a group of young mothers have met to play mahjong on a Thursday afternoon. Their hands move quickly as they place pink and white craks, bams, dots, dragons, winds and flowers — the proper names for the different suits — in a neatly formed line known as the wall.

“Three crak,” “two bam,” “one dot” are called, as each takes it in turn to name their discarded tiles. The goal is to achieve “mahjong,” a winning hand before your other three players.

Olivia Reighley, a local mom of two (and pregnant with her third) leads the group: she has been called “the Godmother of Mahj” by her friends and has taught many of them over the last year or so. She is part of a wave of new love for this game, which has made mahjong absolutely huge in communities and beyond. Games are being played in homes, at restaurants and cafés, and at each of the local libraries. 

Reighley plays several times a week, either with friends or online. And mahjong is now beloved by all ages — having shed its reputation as something people remember their grandmothers playing.

But, says Reighley, “I am all about the grandmother lifestyle. It conjures happy images of carefree living to me.”

“I first learned a little over six years ago when I moved to Bedford,” she said. “The only person I really knew in town was my aunt and her friends, so I joined in their activities. The appeal is that it’s a mental challenge with a social component rolled into one.” 

The rise in interest in mahjong is not only local — although the location for today’s game is the new games room called “The Parlour” at La Maison Fête in Bedford — it is experiencing a boom nationwide. 

Ali Barbera of Pound Ridge has been playing for eight years.  She says that the recent craze is partly to do with the 2018 film “Crazy Rich Asians,” where the pivotal scene between a powerful matriarch and her son’s girlfriend is set over a game of mahjong. Then came COVID-19 and people picked up the game. Younger generations —  millennials and Gen Z — love it because the game’s complexity demands concentration, which means unplugging from phones and screens.

“I first learned the game from my mom,” says Barbera, who now teaches it full time. “It’s so much more than a game and it’s really become a way that I’ve met people and have made friends.” 

“We moved to the area in 2021 from New York City and it was COVID times,” she says. “There weren’t a lot of big events and ways to meet people, and the homes are so spread out. So I finally decided to text the few girls that I had a phone number for and said, ‘Do you guys want to learn how to play mahjong?’”

They did and she still plays with the same group of women regularly alongside her teaching. “Those friends are still my closest friends in the area.”

WIth its roots in ancient China, mahjong became fashionable in America in the 1920s. It was brought here by a Standard Oil employee named Joseph P. Babcock, who, legend has it, played his first game aboard a ship on the Yangtze River. In 1937 a group of Jewish women founded the National Mahjong League, which today still publishes the book of winning hands — a book of new winning hands is published annually — and oversees the correct rules.

“Now it feels like social media has just lit a fire to it,” says Barbera. “And there are so many brands now. People have come out with different themes and colors and designs of tiles and mats and racks. There are entire tablescapes and parties … It has piqued people’s interest and they want to be a part of it.”

Barbera taught at a recent party of about 16 women at a home in Pound Ridge, where the conversation and wine flowed. She explained that while mahjong is initially complex it can become highly addictive quickly.

Emily Kapelman is a recent convert and was taught by two local friends (one of them Reighley).

“The thing that the rise of mahjong really speaks to for me is a desire to get back, at least in part, to what our lives were like before smartphones,” she says.

“That balance of connecting over a social activity that might be less intense conversationally, and is also less focused on drinking, and is not weather dependent, is super meaningful.

“In order to win, you need to focus not only on your own hand, but on what the other players are calling for, and discarding,” she says. “You can’t be scrolling and zoned out. I feel like we are constantly bombarded with information about how much less happy people are living our modern lifestyle.” 

Barbera agrees that mahjong is a complex game that demands a player unplug.

“And my tip to all beginners is please be patient and practice,” she says. “I tell everyone, give it three tries: three two-hour lessons. As a beginner it can feel overwhelming, but once you’ve learned the names of the tiles and how to read the card, it’s that layered part of it that makes it so appealing.”